Handling An Invalid

Spoiling is easy.

When a child is really sick, you give him lots of special care and consideration, not only for practical medical reasons but also because you feel sorry for him. You don’t mind preparing drinks and foods for him at frequent intervals or even putting aside a drink he refuses and making another kind right away. You are glad to get him new playthings to keep him happy and quiet. You ask him often how he feels, in a solicitous manner.
A child quickly adjusts to this new position in the household. If he has a ^disease that makes him cranky, he may be calling and bossing his mother like an old tyrant.
Fortunately, at least 90% of children’s illnesses are on the way to recovery within a few days. As soon as the mother stops worrying, she stops kowtowing to the child when he is unreasonable. After a couple of days of minor clashes, everyone is back to normal.
But if a child develops a long illness or one that threatens to come back, and if the parents have a tendency to be worriers, the continued atmosphere of overconcern may have a bad effect on his spirit. He absorbs some of the anxiousness of those around him. He’s apt to be demanding. If he’s too polite for that, he may just become excitable and temperamental, like a spoiled actor. It’s easy for him to learn to enjoy being sick and receiving pity. Some of his ability to make his own way agreeably may grow weaker, like a muscle that isn’t being used.

Keep him busy and polite.
So it’s wise for parents to encourage themselves to get back into normal balance with the sick child as soon as possible. This means such little things as having a friendly, matter-of-fact expression when entering his room rather than a worried one; asking him how he feels today in a tone of voice that expects good news rather than bad (and perhaps asking him only once a day). When you find out by experience what he feels like drinking and eating, serve it up casually. Don’t ask him timidly if he likes it or act as if he were wonderful to take a little. Keep strictly away from urging unless the doctor feels that it is necessary. A sick child’s appetite is more quickly ruined by pushing and forcing than a well child’s.
When he’s leaping around in bed, it’s better to tell him to lie still so that he can get well soon, rather than warn him of how much worse the disease might become. Better still to go light on the talk except for a firm reminder, and put the effort into getting him busy with something else.
If you are buying new playthings, look particularly for the ones that make him do all the work and give him a chance to use his imagination (blocks, sets for building, sewing, weaving, bead-stringing, painting, modeling, stamp collecting). These make demands on him and occupy him for long periods, whereas toys that are merely beautiful possessions quickly pall and only whet his appetite for more presents.

Deal out one new plaything at a time. There are lots of homemade occupations, like cutting pictures out of old magazines, making a scrapbook, sewing, whittling, building a farm or town or doll’s house of cardboard and glue.
If a child is going to be laid up for a long time, but is well enough, get a teacher or a tutor or the best teacher in the family to start him on his sehoolwork again for a regular period each day, just as soon as possible.
If he’s human, he wants company part of the time, and you can join in some of his occupations or read to him. But if he wants more and more attention, try to avoid arguments and bargaining. Have regular times when he can count on your being with him and others when he knows you are going to be busy elsewhere. If he has a disease that isn’t catching and the doctor lets him have company, invite other children in regularly to play and for meals.
It all adds up to letting the child lead just as normal a life as is possible under the circumstances, expecting from him reasonable behavior toward the rest of the family, and avoiding worried talk, looks, and thoughts.